‘I will not stay alone with a newborn’: Husband Demands to Go On a ‘Boys Trip’ and Leave His Working Wife Alone With Their Newborn, Wife Refuses to Let Him Leave

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 7, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

No matter how many parents warn younger couples not to rush having children, this mistake keeps repeating itself and the world ends up with more children with divorced parents than children with an actual functioning family.

Not to say that the couple in this Reddit story is going to divorce, we would not wish that to anyone, but it seems like they needed to have a serious conversation before having their first child, and now it is a bit too late. OP (original poster), is a new mom, who is also the sole provider in her family. Right after having her baby, her husband decided he wanted to go on a 'boys trip' with his brother and leave her to work and take care of their newborn all by herself. Safe to say, OP was not accepting of her husband's plans.

Keep scrolling to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a silly collection of wholesome relationship memes.  

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  • 01
    AITA for not wanting my husband to go on a boys trip while i'm at home with our newborn
    via u/clarazn
  • 02
    Tldr; my husband, who's really great in general, wants to go on a boys trip with his brother while we have a newborn at home and i'm going back to work.
    via u/clarazn
  • 03
    So, my husband (34m) and I (28f) just had a baby boy. He's amazing, precious, and very gassy at times. I had a c-section, not by choice, and am still recovering. Baby boy is about two weeks old.
    via u/clarazn
  • 04
    My husband is great, he shares all the responsibilities with me, supports me postpartum, and really makes sure baby boy and I are happy and healthy.
    via u/clarazn
  • 05
    The thing is, my husband hasn't worked for a while now and i'm the sole provider at the moment. His dad posed away about two months ago and he had to leave me when I was 9 months pregnant (his family
    via u/clarazn
  • 06
    lives in a different country) for 3 weeks because none of his siblings wanted to manage everything around his dad's passing away. He stopped working when he left and hasn't
    via u/clarazn
  • 07
    gotten back to it since. We have talked about it and he will get back to work in the near future (a month or so). I worked until the day I gave birth, I own a small business
    via u/clarazn
  • 08
    and need to get back to partial work in a few days. I will have to get back to full time in about 3 weeks. Now, my husband has a brother that isn't the best family guy. He provides very little for his
    via u/clarazn
  • 09
    family, has 5 kids he often leaves his wife alone with, only "helps to babysit" sometimes and in general isn't really there unless it has to do with keeping the kids alive at max.
    via u/clarazn
  • 10
    My husband's brother won some football tickets about 6 months ago and invited my husband and his dad to go with (my husband had to pay for his submission to that contest tho).
    via u/clarazn
  • 11
    Now that my FIL passed away, my husband's brother wants them both to go to that football game abroad and stay for 4 days. My husband doesn't just want to go, he made it a fact,
    via u/clarazn
  • 12
    and says his brother said this would be a trip in memory of their father. Idk how i'll do 4 days with baby boy alone at home. He will be a 5 weeks old and I will be freshly
    via u/clarazn
  • 13
    back to work. My mom will be able to help but I can't just leave the kid with her at this stage. I told my husband there's no way he's leaving and now he is mad at me and says he will be going anyway and i'm an him. for not understanding
    via u/clarazn
  • 14
    I will say, before their father , I still daid the same thing - i'll have a newborn at home and won't want him to leave. This has been known for over 6 months now. AITA?
    via u/clarazn
  • 15
    TheAwesomePalace 1 day ago Partassipant [1] • NTA. Disregarding, like, everything about him being not working and you overworking - who cares about what he wants, what his brother wants, or anything like that. He has a
    via u/TheAwesomePalace
  • 16
    newborn at home, he's not just gonna up and vanish like that. He chose to have a kid now he has to take care of it. His 'boy time' vanished for a good long while the moment he agreed to have a kid with you. He knows what it takes to care for a
    via u/TheAwesomePalace
  • 17
    newborn, I hope so at least, so no way a good dad would just up and leave you alone like that.
    via u/TheAwesomePalace
  • 18
    minuteye 19 hr. ago Might be worth pointing out the irony of "honouring his father" by... being a bad father.
    via u/minuteye
  • 19
    Arkham1798 1 day ago · • edited 23 hr. ago NTA, also might I add that your husband sounds like an excuse of a human being. Who leaves their barely one month old baby to go on a boy's trip!
    via u/Arkham1798
  • 20
    Hydrogeology 1 day ago Partassipant [1] NTA - Your husband and BIL are holding this up as in memory of their father. In other words, family ties are strong and should be respected. Yet, he is not thinking that he has his own new family now. He needs
    via u/Hydrogeology
  • 21
    to respect that as well. Further, he needs to respect his wife who is not only the person who carried and nurtured his son, but had a difficult birth to boot. His wife is also the sole breadwinner at this time. He's
    via u/Hydrogeology
  • 22
    already honored his father by taking time off when you were heavily pregnant. He's been on vacation and he needs to step up and start thinking about his contribution to his own family. He needs to decide if his loyalty is to his brother or to his wife and newborn son.
    via u/Hydrogeology
  • 23
    Vivid-Course7449 · 23 hr. ago Ask him if he'd be ok with you booking a trip of same length with your mom or whoever for the week after and leaving him alone with baby for that long? Does he think he'd manage?
    via u/Vivid-Course7449
  • 24
    Also you're sole provider. I'd be telling him I wouldn't be contributing a single cent to that trip. He can pay for the 4 days with the money from his non existant job!
    via u/Vivid-Course7449
  • 25
    clarazn OP · 23 hr. ago So I did he said he'd be - happy to stay with the baby. Also, money wise, I told him that, up until 3-4 months ago he had a nice income, so to him, it is justified to use our common funds to pay for that trip
    via u/clarazn

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